


A lot of trouble

by VictoriaBlue



Category: Hazbin Hotel (Web Series)
Genre: Alastor being asexual, Alastor having an harem, Gen, Multiship, OC's - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-23
Updated: 2020-07-23
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:08:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25455193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VictoriaBlue/pseuds/VictoriaBlue
Summary: Alastor's microphone sometimes spills his mind.
Relationships: Alastor (Hazbin Hotel)/Original Character(s)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 34





	A lot of trouble

**Author's Note:**

> HELL-OH PORNLADY HERE bringing a little snippet featuring [Hannies Oc, Deb,](https://twitter.com/HB_dreaming) and [Bee's OC Essie.](https://twitter.com/bumple_bee) There's also tall mean Satine there being a hell of an Ex for Al lol. This is based of an amazing comic Hannie made, [you can see it right here in her twitter. ](https://twitter.com/HB_dreaming/status/1285950821360824324)  
> The headcanon is that Alastor's microphone spills his mind sometimes. 
> 
> As always, English is not my first language, so forgive me for any mistakes. Also, Hannie, Bee, forgive me if your pretty children seem OoC, I tried to portray them as In Character as I could from all the content I've seen in your twitters!

In hell, sinners carried curses within their souls. Afflictions that tormented them through all eternity, and for Alastor, the curse was a talking microphone. 

It was ridiculous, but it made sense. During life, his best friend was always the broadcasting microphone, a piece of metal and wire that was always willing to listen to Alastor's voice. More so, he had always held absolute control over his speech. 

He triumphantly captivated the crowd with meticulously composed discussions, not one single word was out of place. 

So having a speaking microphone permanently attached to him, speaking his mind whenever it wanted, was a god damned curse. And it had given him a lot of trouble. 

**A lot of trouble.**

First, the damned thing was always speaking whenever it felt like doing it. Alastor could go days without hearing the annoying voice, and suddenly it would pop it's mouth open and say something completely embarrassing. 

For example, with Deborah. 

Alastor and Deborah had a relationship of deep trust and respect for each other, as it should be. He was her master, she was his. 

_His._

There wasn't exactly lies between them, at all, but sometimes he wanted to maintain a certain facade, especially in public. He was an overlord, a figure of great importance in Hell! He had a reputation to maintain and would keep a behavior that was perfectly in line with such esteem. 

Unfortunately, sometimes Deb simply knew when his microphone would be an idiot. Maybe it was the years together that allowed her to know every aspect of him, even the fluctuations of this curse. Maybe there was something that she could notice, he didn't know. 

But sometimes she would take advantage of that to pester him, and man did she enjoyed it. 

"Hey, Al." It never happened outside the privacy of their shared spaces, because she still respected the fact that in public he was the radio demon. But it didn't make it any better. "Would you like to touch my boobs?" 

A loud radio-interference noise came out of the radio demon, he interrupted his reading to eye the woman. Alastor knew she was up to something, but decided he would simply dismiss her absurd question.

He didn't need to admit anything to her. 

"Of course not, what kind of ridiculous question is-..." And then, the annoying radio-filtered voice chirped loudly, shutting Alastor's mouth in a moment. 

"WOOHOO YEAH!" 

At this, a deep silence fell between both demons. Even the radio static that always surrounded Alastor's figure was gone. The only sound was the excited humming of the microphone. Its single eye was narrowing a little, a stupid expression of happiness giving away just how content it felt. 

And then, it noted the absolute silence, and muttered a single "oh, shit." 

That was it, Alastor was going to break the damned thing. 

"QUIET YOU!" 

In the end, he still got to stuff his face right into his servant's cleavage, and even allowed himself to die right there. Out of tiredness, embarrassment. Both. 

But when it came to embarrassing situations with his fucking microphone, the winner was definitely Satine. 

Working with the woman had been something he was almost forced to do. Charlie insisted over and over again until he agreed just to make her shut up. He still didn't like seeing her face, and the absolute spite that formed inside his chest every time he landed eyes on her was unbearable. 

But this was hell, of course he would end up working with this particular woman. 

"Darling, I know your tastes are different but if you don't eat your dinner after Charlie paid, Imma' make sure you're paying next time. What? not hungry?" 

"I happen to lose my appetite whenever I land my eyes on you, missy, that's-" 

"YOU USED TO ASK ME IF I WAS HUNGRY ALL THE TIME!" The loud, _loud_ cry of his microphone attracted the attention of everyone around, especially since it was also sobbing uncontrollably right by his side. "I DON'T HATE Y-"

Both Alastor and Satine stared at each other with wide eyes, and after a moment, the Radio Demon stuffed his god-damned curse microphone right inside an imp that was passing by, successfully muting its lament. 

"Shut up, shut up!" He chanted, over and over again, while Satine simply stared in amusement from her seat. 

"Do you want to move this to the bar, Alastor?" 

"SHUT UP!" 

There was a damned reason he refused to work with this woman!

He would burn the microphone, let his soul be destroyed with it, he didn't care! It held no respect for his boundaries, or for other's people's boundaries. 

Essie, for example, was often a victim of his microphone picking on his deepest thoughts and translating them into words. Or worse yet. Jokes. 

Essie was always around, a soft presence that soothed his bloodthirst in the best of ways. She was just kind, caring, and in desperate need of protection, and even he couldn't help wanting to protect her. 

While she was working around the hotel with a soft smile on her face, Alastor would always feel calm. Even the presence of Satine around the hotel wouldn't ruin the absolute tranquility Essie brought him. 

And still, the damned microphone dared target her too with his stupid words that exposed his mind.

"Excuse me" It had begun, while Essie was fixing some documents for Charlie. She looked around, big doll eyes glistening in confusion. "Excuse me, are you from Tenessee?" She finally looked directly at the microphone, its eye narrowed in happiness. 

"Eh... no?" 

"OH! BECAUSE YOU'RE THE ONLY TEN I SEE!" The thing chirped, and Alastor was taken off his reading by its loud, annoying laugh. 

The girl was left standing in confusion as Alastor buried his microphone right into the ground, trying to silence it once and for all. It didn't work, and the cursed thing kept shouting embarrassing things.

"YOU'RE THE FAVORITE OF THE HAREM" 

And Alastor responded: "Who in the nine circles of hell has a Harem?! Quiet, you, cursed, disgusting thing!" 

Deborah, who was sitting in the living room too, couldn't help but laugh at Alastor's attempts to silence his microphone. Charlie appeared at the door, the noise had caught her attention. Following closely was Satine, who's tall figure was right by Essie's side in a couple of strides.

"Do not listen to that man, sugar, come on." She said, with Essie's wrist in her hand already. The small white-haired demon lifted her brow, still too confused to understand, but went with the other woman anyways. 

"I don't even need this kind of attention!" Alastor shouted.

In the end, Deborah was the only one left with him, still laughing from her spot on the sofa.

"I hate women!" 

"All women are queens, Al!" 


End file.
